Relationship Horoscope

CHAPTER I

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER II

WHAT BRINGS YOU TOGETHER

A Romantic and a Philosopher

Because you possess a volatile, imaginative and romantic temperament, you will inevitably be drawn to your partner's own fine imagination and intuitive gifts. The two of you share a similar sense of colour, adventure and spirit, and both of you in your individual ways contribute excitement, meaning and a vision of future possibilities to the relationship. Neither of you is especially willing to play the sensible stabiliser in the partnership, and although the result may be occasionally chaotic, your life together is not likely to be boring. You are also attracted to your partner's intellectual abilities, and are probably deeply admiring of what you see as her greater capacity for perspective, detachment and organised thinking; for you are by nature much more subjective, tending to react to most situations in a highly personal, immediate and often emotional way. Catherine in turn needs your warmth, enthusiasm and responsiveness to help thaw her innate emotional restraint, for in this sphere your partner is likely to experience considerable awkwardness in expressing her feelings.

Thus you are each an excellent complement for the areas in which the other sometimes feels uncomfortable or constrained. However, your admiration of your partner's mental gifts may also be accompanied by considerable resentment at her apparent emotional coolness and inaccessibility, while she may feel your strong emotions and highly personal reactions are sometimes a little overpowering or invasive. But with care and effort, your partner can learn a great deal from you about emotional expressiveness and spontaneity, while you can learn a lot from her about detachment, separateness, and a more objective perspective about life.

2. Heart and Body

Caution, Inflammable Substance

Strong passions and intense irritation are both likely to erupt between you and Catherine. Her emotional response to you is a tense although exciting mixture of desire and annoyance, and the line between anger and passion can easily become blurred between you. It is as though your partner both longs to "win" you as an object of desire, and at the same time wants to change you to fit her image; and you may feel intensely wanted sometimes and rather battered and bullied at other times. And you are also quite capable of unconsciously being extremely provocative in several senses of the word, arousing her desire and then doing or saying precisely the thing which will inflame her temper. You need your partner's idealism and passionate convictions, and you are warmed and vitalised by the strength of her feelings; but there is something about your extreme need for emotional closeness which not only attracts Catherine, but also makes her want to quarrel. You may often feel pushed around, but you may need to take your share of responsibility for helping to invoke the quarrel, rather than feeling sorry for yourself and trying to make your partner feel guilty. There is a highly stimulating and exciting current running between you which serves as a powerful sexual stimulus, and if you can both keep your sense of humour, you can avoid some of the more aggressively theatrical manifestations of overload.

It's All Done With Mirrors

Your partner is quite bewitched by your appearance, style and energetic and individualistic manner of expression. You seem to activate an intensely romantic fantasy of ideal love in her, and for a time at least, she may feel you are without flaw. You in turn are nourished by her admiration, and feel more attractive, special and magnetic in her company. But despite the rather exalted and magical feelings which you arouse in Catherine, she may need to be clear about the distinction between her dream and your reality. If she idealises you too much, she may find herself unnecessarily disappointed and disillusioned by your ordinary humanness, or may resort to placation, evasion or deception in order to please you and keep the magic alive. However prosaic you thought your partner was, you will learn a lot about her propensity for romanticism, as well as your own need to be idealised; and as long as you both keep your feet on the ground, you can enjoy the heightened emotions between you while still finding your everyday contact rewarding and fulfilling.

Rites of Spring

The sexual attraction between you and Catherine is likely to be very intense, and neither of you is going to want to loiter about postponing the day of fulfilment. What you have is the stuff of romantic novels, and certainly in the initial stages of the relationship you are likely to be very much in love (and lust) with each other. To you, your partner's grace, courtesy and civilised values epitomise all that is lovable and desirable. It is probable that you have, overtly or covertly, initiated the sexual dimension of the relationship with a full-scale courtship in the grand old style. To Catherine, you are the ideal lover who makes her feel attractive, desired and beloved, and she is especially fascinated by your intelligence, wit and decency. Her admiration feeds your sense of strength and confidence, while your desire feeds her sense of self-worth. Whatever the outcome of the relationship, the erotic and romantic feelings are likely to run high (at least for a time), for you are also both attracted to the other's sexual style, and have an instinctive understanding of how to please each other.

Molten Lava

You have a way of arousing some very intense and perhaps even obsessive feelings in your partner, and it would be a mistake to take the attraction between you lightly. Catherine is fascinated by your mysterious emotional depths, and the extent of this fascination may be rather threatening to her - especially if she is unaccustomed to such emotional and sexual intensity. You are hungry for her passion, for it nourishes you and makes you feel desired, loved, safe and secure. But no one likes to feel out of control, including your partner; and you may need to be aware that she could unconsciously resort to some highly manipulative ploys, such as making you feel insecure and jealous, in order to reestablish a feeling of control and power in the relationship. The more understanding you are of these deeper defence mechanisms, and the more openly and sympathetically you can discuss them with her, the less likely you are to feel undermined, manipulated or overwhelmed by the intense emotional undercurrents running between you. Despite the lighter or more detached manner which you might adapt with each other on the surface, something very deep is being stirred between you, and you both need to respect and honour it; for if you begin to indulge in game-playing, both of you are likely to get burned.

3. Mind and Spirit

Sharpening the Mind

There is a very high energy level in the mental exchange between you and Catherine, for her reflective way of going after what she wants acts as a strong stimulus to your ideas and mental attitudes. It is as though your partner's energy infuses you with a new mental vitality and perspective. Your analytic way of understanding and expressing yourself in turn helps her to be more reflective about her actions, and allows her to turn her energy and drive toward goals and interests which follow the lines of your ideas as well as hers. This excellent flow of communication and mental stimulation could also be directed toward joint creative projects or shared working goals, since the two of you also help each other to be more realistic and practical in grounding your ideas; and even if you are quarrelling, you are still likely to stimulate, energise and interest each other.

A Turbo-Charged Engine

You and Catherine share an affinity both of sexual style and of the manner in which you pursue your goals. Your energy tends to harmonise rather than conflict, and it is likely that you will want similar things at the same time, and set about getting them in similar ways. This not only bodes well for your physical relationship, but also makes it possible for you to pool your resources and aim for joint working projects and creative goals as well; for you could work well together, stimulating each other's ambitions and drive - as long as each of you has an independent area of authority. Your instinctively diplomatic way of pursuing your goals complements your partner's refinement, and as a couple you could achieve pretty much what you wanted, whether you are working toward personal security and fulfilment or a more idealistic vision. The positive exchange of energy between you not only vitalises both of you sexually, but also activates the will and the competitive spirit in both of you. This means that you may also sometimes find yourselves in combat over who is going to run the show. But even when you are battling, there is mutual understanding in it, and this "letting off steam" which may occur from time to time does not alter the basic affinity between you.

Where There's Life There's Hope

Your innate complexity and sensitivity arouse generous and downright noble feelings in your partner. Without trying, you make her want to offer her best to the relationship, and you also stir her sense of optimism about the future, expanding her horizons and giving her greater faith in herself and her potentials. It is as though you stir the spirit in her as well as the heart, and the quality of friendship and mutual consideration inherent in the attraction between you makes you both better people. In turn Catherine brings a quality of vision and meaning into your life, for her rich imagination and compassionate response to others give you a sense that life is bigger, broader and much more interesting in her company. The two of you bring out some very refined and idealistic feelings in each other, as well as a deep spiritual sense that life is essentially good and will take care of itself; and even if this makes you both a little too stylised, grand and extravagant at times, it also ensures that the sense of fun, adventure and hope will rarely be absent between you.

4. Conflict and Challenge

Learning Weightlifting

Your partner arouses rather ambivalent feelings in you. Attraction and admiration are certainly present, as well as a strongly protective feeling which makes you want to offer support, help and guidance. But you are also likely, consciously or not, to sometimes feel shy and inadequate in the face of what you experience as her superior or more spontaneous gifts. There is a touch of the loving parent with a gifted and adored child in your interaction with Catherine - a complex mixture of love and envy, protectiveness and criticism. You may project the unlived child within yourself onto your partner, for on some level she reminds you of what you would have liked to be, and of the old hurts and disappointments from your earliest life which have blocked you; and in offering support and containment to your partner, you are also trying to heal your own wounds. The qualities of containment and healing can help to create a deep and enduring bond between you. But your feelings of constraint around spontaneous self-expression may also push you into defensive, demanding or inadvertently critical behaviour. You can offer your partner a profound feeling of stability and strength, which can help to give shape and substance to her creative vision. But there may be times when you need to be a child too, rather than the wise parent who has all the answers.

The Politics of Passion

There is an element in the attraction between you and Catherine which will require a lot of self-awareness to handle creatively, yet which, if you can really work with and appreciate it, could transform you both at very deep levels. Your basic nature - particularly your qualities of heart and empathy for others - is highly fascinating to your partner, exercising an almost hypnotic spell over her; and she is likely to feel some very intense and perhaps unfamiliar emotions, including strong passion, jealousy, and a desire for complete possession of you. These are primitive feelings which may surprise both of you with their depth, and if Catherine is unaccustomed to such intensity of feeling, she may react by dissociating from these emotions in order to achieve greater control over herself and the relationship.

Passion makes all people vulnerable, and vulnerability can create some quite unpleasant defences. The most typical of these defences is a highly manipulative (although quite unconscious) form of behaviour which exercises control over you through subtle withholding of affection, thereby making you feel manipulated, anxious and insecure. But such ploys are not exercised deliberately or out of malice; and you can recognise in them the depth of your partner's attachment, and experience greater self-confidence and feelings of self-worth through her love without participating in the game-playing. Also, you are likely to feel a great deal of loyalty and generosity toward her. If your partner is able to recognise and avoid these tactics (which arise largely from anxiety), you and she will find that the depth of your attraction has a transformative effect on both your personalities, opening you up to a richer and more profound dimension of life and love.

Boiling Point

Although the sexual attraction between you and Catherine is likely to be quite high (at least initially), there is a covert cat-and-mouse quality to your exchange which points to a much deeper issue being activated between you. You arouse your partner's desire through your aloofness and withdrawal as much as through possessing qualities she admires, for this inaccessibility brings out the primordial thrill of the hunt in her. Your depth of thought combined with reticence in communication are enormously attractive to her, and challenge her desire to understand and analyse human behaviour.

At first this unobtainable or inaccessible quality in you arouses your partner's passion, and thus there is a powerful sexual chemistry between you. But the harder she pushes you to give her what she wants, the more subtle resistance she is likely to meet. She may simply find herself becoming increasingly angry and frustrated, and you may not realise the degree to which you are provoking this anger because of your own unconscious feelings of anxiety in the face of what you experience as her greater strength and self-confidence. Whether you are aware of it or not, you are afraid of being dominated by your partner; and since there is something in her which would like to dominate, you may have some grounds for this fear. You also probably feel an uncomfortable mixture of admiration and envy toward her.

A highly frustrating power battle could ensue between you if you do not look at your own part in the problem, and if your partner mistakes your covert thwarting for deliberate coldness or malice; for you feel anything but cold toward her. But her inclination to react with anger and a desire to wound in return may be difficult for you to handle. This element in the attraction between you can be very difficult indeed if you are both unconscious of the dynamic at work, for it can degenerate into real bitterness over time, and a habitual pattern of thwarting each other in extremely hurtful ways - particularly sexually. Or you can both try to use the tension to learn about yourselves and each other; for this could, with some effort and love, become an extremely creative energy which could help to heal your hidden feelings of inadequacy, and could offer Catherine much greater patience, tolerance and understanding of human frailty.

CHAPTER III

THE ESSENCE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

1. Your Relationship as an Independent Entity

A Relationship with a Fiery Heart

The keynote of your relationship with Catherine is vitality. This quality of raw dynamic energy which is generated between the two of you has many different facets and could take many different channels. Some of these channels can be enormously creative and lively; but the volatile nature of the energy could also generate quarrels, competitiveness and even - if neither of you is willing to take responsibility for dealing with what you create together - violence. You and your partner somehow feel more alive when you are around each other. The two of you seem to generate a sense that life is an exciting place, that you can have more and better from it, and that, if you could only focus your efforts on joint goals, there is nothing you could not achieve as a couple. It is likely that, even if neither of you has been a particularly ambitious or forward-looking person in other relationships, this one will stir ambitions in both of you, so that you find yourselves planning for the future and working hard toward goals which in the past you might never have recognised you wanted.

Because of your love of the dramatic, your insistence on the rightness of your own values, and your refusal to compromise your ideals of life and love, you are likely to have an extremely positive response to the dynamic energy which permeates your relationship with Catherine. You want love to be both an adventure and a creative endeavour, and this relationship can provide you with just such a challenge because of its inherent vitality and its requirement that you broaden your horizons and expand your vision. The dramas and crises that are bound to erupt periodically are not likely to daunt you, for you have a taste for the archetypal and possess the internal resources to cope with just about anything except what Goethe once called "the insult of an ordinary fate". And this relationship, because of its emphasis on growth and creative expression, is much more likely to invoke the extraordinary in your life.

But you and your partner also bring out a rather perverse and aggressive element in each other, for this is an essential part of the relationship's core.

Others may not at first recognise the power and complexity of your relationship with Catherine, because to the outside world you tend, consciously or not, to project an image of the ideal handsome and harmonious couple. There is something about the appearance and style of this relationship which communicates grace, aesthetic taste, and a quality of togetherness which you and Catherine may be far from feeling at the time, but which permeates the atmosphere you create in public as a couple. The persona of the partnership may make both of you in fact pay more attention to such things as dress and personal appearance, and whether you are aware of it or not, an aura of courtesy and old-fashioned charm surrounds you. You and your partner are not likely to air your problems except to those close to you, so strong is this almost formal atmosphere of good manners which the relationship projects. Do not be surprised if others miss the real depth of this bond and have a rather more shallow picture of your relationship than you and your partner do.

The very energy which stimulates both of you to greater effort together also makes each of you more aware of your own individual desires; and you may become unusually conscious of your mutual differences and clashes of will when you are together. This sometimes reaches boiling point, and it sometimes seems as though you cannot help but do battle with each other. This can result in a relationship where you and Catherine use up a lot of valuable energy not in pursuing shared goals, but in trying to bash each other into submission - emotionally, verbally or even physically. You and your partner will discover new dimensions to your own personalities through this relationship, for it makes you both want to fight for what you believe to be right. The trick is for you to find things which you both believe are right, and to work out how to fight for these things in the world, rather than fighting each other. Most of your collisions, as well as your best joint efforts, are likely to occur in the sphere of your differing modes of emotional and sexual needs and expression. Although you and your partner may often find yourselves at war, disagreeing madly about who is right and whose fault it is, in fact the relationship stimulates both of you to define yourselves as individuals. The dynamic energy of the bond pushes you into learning how to assert yourselves, although you may sometimes understandably wish for something a little more boring and sedate. It may take time for you and your partner to learn how to handle such powerful energy, particularly if you have preconceived ideals of true lovers never quarrelling. But any effort at pooling your resources and channelling the fiery qualities generated between you into concrete goals will result in more of the satisfaction of the challenge and the prize, and less of the bruising of constant collisions.

Learning the Art of the Truce

The danger of such a high quotient of energy between you is that, if one of you feels bullied or trampled over by the other, you may lose sight of the original disagreement, and all that becomes important is to beat the enemy. There is a kind of blind animal aggression that may sometimes erupt between the two of you, and you could be a little frightened by your feelings of needing to win at all costs. You may of course blame each other; but it is really the energy of the relationship which invokes such aggression like a force of nature. Although physical violence between you need never occur, there are other, subtler forms of violence or coercion which you may unconsciously wind up using against each other, including emotional cruelty and the undermining of each other's confidence through ill-timed criticism or rejection. This is of course the blackest scenario, and you and Catherine can ensure that it never happens. But it might be very important for you both to be as honest as possible about the ways in which you try to dominate each other; for no matter how angry you might make each other, you are ostensibly together because there is mutual love and respect, and no disagreement can justify the use of such force within a relationship. If you spend more time fighting than being close, it might be better to part rather than descending to bullying tactics in order to get your way. You and your partner might need to think hard about how to use the fighting spirit of the relationship constructively, rather than indulging in all-out conflagration. Your best asset is the capacity to reflect objectively - on what is happening inside you, and also on the fact that you are both dealing with an autonomous energy created between you, rather than with a stubborn and intractable partner whose will must be broken.

Challenge versus Comfort

Although your relationship is full of dynamic and highly challenging energy, there is another element inherent in it which can help to stabilise the bond on the emotional level. This relationship also contains a strong urge toward security and safety, emotional and material, which requires validation and expression within the partnership along with its more fiery and forward-looking qualities. These two very different energies may seem mutually exclusive, and indeed at times you and your partner may feel you cannot find any middle ground on which to stand; for you may find yourselves on a kind of emotional see-saw where you are either struggling to create a warm, cozy domestic life in the midst of quarrels and disruptions, or you are energetically pursuing challenges in the world while secretly hungering for a little peace and quiet. In fact it is possible to have both; but it may take some time for the two of you to learn how to handle the contradictory elements inherent in this bond.

The areas where you and Catherine are most likely to enjoy a feeling of security and closeness through the emotional ambience of the relationship are in any creative efforts you make together (which may include children as well as artistic endeavours), and in any hobbies or pleasurable activities such as travel which can allow the relationship to contain fun and adventure as well as stress and challenge. It is vital that you and your partner can do things together which are simply joyful, rather than competitive or purposeful; for this will create greater emotional closeness between you, and a shelter from the stormier aspects of the bond.

The powerful security needs of the relationship are liable to stir deep needs in each of you, bringing out the child who longs for safety and containment; and you and your partner will need to find a delicate balance between this need for belonging and the strongly independent urges which the relationship also activates in each of you because of its challenging energy. Suppressing either of these two fundamental qualities in the partnership will cause you problems. Too much emphasis on security, at the expense of the more dynamic side of the bond, can result in feelings of being trapped and stifled, which would generate a great deal of anger, quarrelling and power-battling. Too much emphasis on the pursuit of goals in the world and on individual autonomy within the relationship can result in emotional frustration and hunger, which would generate a lot of emotional manipulation and game-playing as each of you surreptitiously tried to get the thing you needed from the other. Yet the combination of factors within this relationship is rich and potentially very rewarding, for it offers challenge and inspiration as well as contentment and peace.

There is one thing you and Catherine are never likely to encounter in this relationship: boredom. There is too much energy in it for the partnership to settle into stagnant domesticity. But both of you will need extra doses of tolerance and humour; for the two most difficult things this relationship arouses in you both are, firstly, a conviction that you are absolutely right, and secondly, a tendency to turn minor matters into life-and-death struggles. The earth will probably not stop on its axis if you have to paint the walls green instead of blue. The exciting differences between you which the relationship makes you so aware of can be fuel for a powerful and enduring sexual attraction and an immensely creative expansion of both your lives; for you can bring the gifts of two more defined and potent personalities to any goal or project you share. If you and your partner can occasionally put down your cudgels and enjoy the electric current running between you, you will get the best out of the dynamic energy of the bond. However, if you want a Darby-and-Joan partnership with a lot of "Yes, dear, whatever you say" passing between you, you are probably out of luck.

2. Your Relationship and Yourself

A Stirring of the Heart and the Passions

Never a Dull Moment

The inherent vitality and passion of this relationship have a powerful awakening effect on your emotions. You may not find this altogether comfortable, particularly if you want peace at any price; but you will certainly find it energising, because your feelings are likely to be brought alive in a way which has probably not happened before. Sometimes you may feel as though the relationship is moving too fast for you, or its intensity is too disturbing to your emotional equilibrium. But you are likely to feel more sexually alive and more aware of your own need for physical affection and closeness.

And you may also be stirred into seeking greater stability and permanence through some kind of shared domestic life. No doubt there will be times when you wish it was all a little more humdrum and prosaic. But even if you sometimes feel exhausted by having your emotions constantly aroused to such a pitch, you will never feel bored or stagnant in this partnership.

Summer Sunshine

The particular romantic and erotic qualities of this relationship are likely to have a powerful effect on your sense of individual identity. Because you are likely to feel deeply loved, contained and appreciated, you will experience yourself as more creative and magnetic, and more confident in your ability to express yourself to the world. Whatever difficulties might arise between you and your partner, this relationship has the power to make you a much more authentic person; and whatever the future of the partnership, you are likely to always retain a sense of its positive contribution to your life.

Home Comforts

The loving and physically affectionate qualities of this relationship have a powerfully positive effect on your feelings, offering you a sense of security, contentment and personal happiness. You are likely to feel "at home" in this partnership, despite whatever conflicts you and Catherine might experience; and your sense of self-worth and belief in your own lovability are likely to be greatly enhanced by the genuine warmth and validation you experience through the relationship. Your need to be loved and to belong is strongly activated, and it is likely that you will have both in this partnership; and the deep contentment which you will probably feel is one of the most positive offerings of the bond.

A Spur to Creative Expression

The Blurring of Boundaries

There is a magical and elusive quality in this relationship which may sometimes be quite difficult for you to handle, because it confuses your sense of who you are. You are particularly sensitive to the elusive promise of the relationship, because it mirrors your own values back to you in an exalted and idealised form; but you could easily lose touch with your own individual identity, and may need to work to find a balance between solid personal boundaries and the relinquishing of your independent goals. Your heart and creative vision are likely to be opened up by this bond, and you may experience many very positive feelings and intuitions about what you could become through the magical effects of the partnership. The relationship may even seem to offer you a kind of mystical meaning or life-purpose, and through its influence you may experience very deep intimations of a unique and special destiny. It is not that these feelings and intuitions are "wrong". But you may need to be very clear-headed about yourself and where you are going, because the romantic idealism inherent in the relationship can have an eroding as well as an inspiring effect on your will and sense of potency in life. If you can remain loyal to your own values and vision, you will avoid much disappointment and disillusionment; but you can still enjoy the magic.

You Too Can Be a Stand-Up Comic

The expansiveness and dynamic energy inherent in this relationship trigger your need to expand your individual horizons, and you will probably gradually become more and more aware of a sense of unlived potentials in your life. Hence the relationship's effect on you will in part be to invoke considerable restlessness, and a stirring of your imagination and your belief in your own future possibilities. It is important that you take these stirrings seriously, for one of the most creative contributions your partnership with Catherine can offer you is an opening up of your creative potentials and an awakening of your spiritual life. However, you must act on these intuitions if you want your vision of the future to become a reality. There is also a quality of humour and tolerance within this relationship which activates your own sense of humour and ability to laugh at life; and you may find that you feel more generous and more genuinely tolerant than you have been with others in the past.

Deeper Levels are Activated Within You

Learning Kung Fu

Elements of aggression, passion and competitiveness within this relationship are likely to invoke a very complex response in you. There are areas of your personality where, like every human being, you have been hurt or thwarted in childhood, and have learned to develop defences which protect your vulnerability and give you a feeling of being in control. But there is a forceful component not only to the sexual dimension of this partnership but to the quality of its energy as well, which may erupt in the form of bad quarrels or serious challenges to your personal will and authority. This can easily leave you feeling attacked, wounded and inadequate. You may experience these feelings on the sexual level, but this is not wholly a sexual matter; it is that the passion and intensity of the bond make you feel threatened and out of control of your own life. Somehow with Catherine you may find it more difficult to cope with conflicts which, in other relationships, might arouse a less prickly response in you. In turn your own defensiveness could make you block off much of the passion and energy of the relationship, which would only make matters worse. It may be important for you to see this dynamic as a way of overcoming old wounds and barriers within your own personality, rather than simply blaming the relationship or your partner for hurting you; for if you can use your feelings of anxiety as a tool to examine your entrenched relationship patterns, you will be able to break free of many inner constrictions and fears.

3. Your Relationship and Your Partner

Your Partner's Heart is Also Stirred

Learning Martial Arts

The dynamic side of this relationship has a way of stimulating your partner's own energy and passion, both sexually and in terms of her effectiveness and confidence in the pursuit of her goals in life. Her erotic feelings are likely to be strongly aroused, but her impatience and competitive spirit will be as well - perhaps to a degree which surprises her if she has been a relatively self-contained and quiet personality in the past. If Catherine encounters any frustration or obstacle to getting what she wants, either from the relationship or from life, she may find herself becoming very rash, impulsive and insistent, and even quarrelsome. In general, this inflaming of your partner's passions is a very positive experience, giving her a tremendous sexual boost as well as firing her physical vitality and her sense of potency in life. But it is all a little too combustible, and she needs to be able to accept the odd bout of fireworks. Also, this relationship cannot promise that she will get everything she wants; it simply activates her desire-nature in a powerful way, making her more aware of her own needs in a new and exciting way. Consequently she may need to keep her wits about her, enjoying the stimulation but retaining some objectivity and patience at the same time.

Someone to Lean On

Catherine will probably feel contained, stable and emotionally nourished by this bond, because the emotional ambience of the relationship is in natural harmony with her own emotional needs. Your partner is likely to feel deeply "at home"; for even if she has not paid too much attention to her needs in the past, she is being subtly emotionally "fed", and can relax and be herself in ways which may have been impossible in other relationships. The mirroring of her needs which the partnership provides will give her a sense of happy and comfortable domesticity, and it is likely that she will want to stabilise this relationship through living together and perhaps starting a family. Even if there are battles and conflicts on other levels of the relationship, her deep sense of contentment and serenity within it can help to give her the emotional strength necessary to cope with whatever difficulties might arise.

Here Be Dragons

There is something about the way in which this relationship projects itself to the outer world, and the way in which others react to it, which may provoke deeply disturbing feelings in Catherine. Perhaps the relationship threatens older family ties, forcing her into emotional conflict; and its qualities are likely to stir very primitive feelings in her, particularly possessiveness. If your partner has seen herself as a relatively detached and rational person in the past, she may be surprised and more than a little uneasy at the intensity of her emotions, and may react by indulging in manipulative maneuvres in order to reestablish a sense of control over her life. In particular, she may unconsciously set up situations where she plays the relationship off against the outside world in some way, forcing herself into a self-generated conflict which opens up deeper and more complex issues within her personality. She will inevitably learn a great deal about her deeper emotional nature through this partnership, and in particular through the effect it has on other people; and if she can refrain from game-playing, this could enrich her life enormously through the great insight she gains.

An Activation of Your Partner's Creative Potentials

Healthy Food

The emotional warmth and rapport which this relationship offers can act as a strong trigger for your partner's creative expression and sense of individual uniqueness. The partnership provides her with a quality of support and containment which allows her to feel more confident and more truly herself; and because she experiences validation and affirmation of her own values and identity, she will be more able to pursue creative goals in the world. This relationship, whatever conflicts might arise within it, is a kind of home for Catherine, for its particular emotional ambience is in harmony with her own nature and offers her a sense of roots and nourishment which she would find very difficult to relinquish.

An Exercise in Self-Definition

This relationship has a way of making Catherine feel deeply responsible for its life and continuity. She may sometimes feel that she is carrying the whole weight of it on her shoulders, for the inherent limits and difficulties of the bond both define and frustrate her sense of who she is. On the one hand, her feelings of strength, potency and individual value are being activated by the relationship, and she also draws life from its challenges because they stir a deep sense of commitment in her. This makes her feel safe and contained, and also makes her aware of her own capacity for loyalty and generosity.

But at the same time, the relationship has a way of thwarting her individual goals, requiring her to compromise her own will and purpose in order to sustain the partnership. The problems and obligations which she must face may block her independent progress in some way. But although your partner may sometimes feel extremely constricted at times, in fact this relationship is defining her as a person, deepening her and giving her greater realism, patience and authenticity. If she is able to carry its weight, it will help her to establish a more solid sense of her own authority and effectiveness in life; for, paradoxically, it is through her voluntary choice to adjust to the relationship's limits that she can become most truly herself.

Courage and Confidence

Your partner's sense of self-motivation and effectiveness in life are likely to be given a strong boost by the creative energy of the relationship. Somehow its life-giving force inspires her to greater courage and a willingness to pursue her own individual goals in a way which she probably has not experienced before. Her passions are also likely to be aroused, as well as her temper; and she may discover that she is a far more willful and competitive personality than she thought. Sexual stimulation is also part of the dynamism of the relationship's effect on her, but it is more than this; it is really a discovery of her own potency, determination and energy which she is likely to experience. Even if the quarrels become somewhat combustible at times, this bond has a way of making Catherine feel more alive, more dynamic and more in charge of her own life.

CHAPTER IV

DEEPER ISSUES ACTIVATED INSIDE

1. Basic Relationship Patterns within You

The Warrior and the Lover

Whatever you may consciously define as "masculine", there is an image within you of man as warrior and champion, and sometimes as aggressor. This image is powerfully activated by your relationship with Catherine. In mythology, it is best described by the great heroes such as Herakles or Theseus, who battle with dragons and champion the weak and defenceless. Sometimes, out of control and run amok, such heroes trample over all those who stand in their way. This callous wilfulness is also a facet of the heroic image. Whether or not you are conscious of this ancient and archetypal image of manhood, you have within you a powerful competitive drive and a strong will to achieve. This potent force is part of the fabric of your inner world, even if you try to disown it. It is most important that you have some consciousness of it and can provide positive vehicles through which to channel it. The most creative face of this inner image is the courageous fighting spirit it offers you, and the ability to remain confidently loyal to your values and your vision regardless of whether the rest of the world disapproves.

There is a strong element of the noble knight in your inner image of manhood. This figure has dreams and poetic vision as well as fighting spirit, and provides you with a code of honour and ideals toward which you can aspire. The knightly qualities of your image of masculinity tend to make you somewhat uncompromising and impatient with what you might consider weakness - particularly your own. And even if you do not consciously identify with such a traditional image of manhood, your partner can probably tell you quite a lot about just how dogged and self- righteous you can become when you feel your power is being challenged or your ideals compromised. The problem with trying to be heroic all the time, particularly if you are unconscious of it, is that you can be trapped by your own pride. For stubborn pride is the darker face of this powerful inner figure, and it will probably loom large in the conflicts which might arise in your relationship with Catherine because it is so very difficult for you to admit that you have made a mistake, botched it, or lapsed into ordinary human frailty.

You have probably drawn on other positive attributes or resources within yourself to find a sense of confidence in yourself as a man. But some of these resources, however valuable in their own right, may be compensations for confusion or insecurity within, and may not provide you with the kind of courage you really need to be true to yourself.

Phallic Power

One of the most basic attributes of the hero in myth is his success with women (he always gets the ones he wants, regardless of the strength of his rivals). The phallic power of this image of manhood is unmistakeable. Conquest, whether of an opponent or of an object of desire, is the hallmark of heroic masculinity. However, compulsive conquest is not, nor is a repeating pattern of love- triangles which involve beating a rival or being the object of two rivals' desire. There seem to be some rather complicated issues at work within you around your need to prove your masculinity through sexual conquest - real or imagined.

But the underlying dilemma here is not simply an issue of erotic conquest. It is a conflict between freedom and commitment, and a reflection of something within you which does not want your world of possibilities and potentials circumscribed by too great a tie to one relationship. It is possible that something of the same free wandering spirit existed in your father, although he may not have been able to live this within the structure of his family life. If such an energy cannot find vehicles through creative expression, it often translates itself into fantasy loves (acted out or not) which are the symbol of freedom and dramatic excitement. It has been said that Don Juan did not really like women; they were simply the proof of his potency, which he had to keep renewing because he did not feel it inside. Your own inner restlessness is something with which you will have to contend, for it is an aspect of the fighting and conquering spirit that forms the core of your masculine character. Knights and mythic heroes do not, after all, stay home to mow the lawn and clip the hedges. But it may be that the boundless horizons you seek are those of the artist and the visionary rather than those of the philanderer. If you find that this restless spirit begins to create difficulties between you and Catherine, perhaps you might need to examine your life to see whether there are sufficient creative vehicles to challenge your imagination.

Thus, whatever conflicts you may experience on the conscious level around what constitutes strength and power, you have a powerful need within you to conquer and to assert your own individuality in the world. The more honestly you are able to live this spirit, the more relaxed you can be in your personal life with your partner. The more you repudiate your self-assertive instincts, however, the more likely you will be to feel dominated by others; and this will inevitably make you domineering and controlling within your relationship in order to compensate for your feelings of general impotence in life. In certain circles terms like "power", "authority" and "achievement" are unfashionable, because they have been made to carry negative ideological connotations. But the archetypal image of the fighter and champion is no social creation. It is as old as time and is the most fundamental image of masculinity that the human imagination has ever created. If it is thwarted within you, it could produce the "If I can't have it then you shouldn't either" spirit of envy and sourness, which blights any real capacity to enjoy life. If your aggression has run amok at the expense of your human relationships, it is probably because you are trying to compensate for a deep inner feeling of impotence. But if you can live this potent spirit with balance, you have an enormously effective force for good - in your personal life and in the world.

2. Basic Relationship Patterns within Your Partner

The Lover of Truth

Whatever your partner as a woman may consciously define as "masculine", there is within her an image of great power and authority - the archetypal figure of man as ruler and lawgiver and, on the darker side, as tyrant. This image is powerfully activated within her through her relationship with you. The figure of man as lawgiver is best portrayed in myth by the kings of the gods, such as Kronos, the Titan who ruled over the Golden Age, or Yahveh in the Old Testament who gave Moses the Tablets of the Law. These deities are personifications of the human need to impose and be contained by structure, discipline and absolute law, both inner and outer. They are "moral" images in the sense that they define what is "right" in terms of supporting an organised and efficient society. They can also be ruthless dictators who annihilate all who oppose their will. Your partner may project this powerful image onto the men in her life, and may also have some complicated issues around masculine authority (and her own need for power) because of difficult early encounters with these qualities in her relationship with her father. The most creative face of this potent inner image is the inner strength, discipline and tenacity it can offer her, and the capacity to endure any amount of difficulty in order to achieve her goals.

The power which your partner's inner image exercises is not, however, merely material. There is great emotional depth in Catherine, and considerable insight into other people's motives and behaviour. This gives her the ability to either transform others' lives in a positive way, or manipulate them in a negative one. It is possible that her father possessed the same kind of power but did not use it creatively, instead exercising his control over the family through covert and perhaps even destructive means such as emotional blackmail and withholding of feelings. If your partner is unconscious of this complex image at work within her, she may project its more negative face onto you. Then she is likely to feel controlled and manipulated - even if she is the one who is really playing power-games in the relationship. Because she fears domination, she may also try to play on your weaknesses rather than acknowledging your strengths, because this makes her feel stronger. But however unattractive an example of the uses and misuses of emotional power Catherine may have seen in early life, she needs to learn to express her own desire for authority in creative ways, rather than suppressing it and turning herself into a victim or a covert manipulator within your relationship. The place for such power is in the outer world, where she deserves and has the capability for a position of considerable responsibility.

The worldly element inherent in your partner's inner image of manhood gives her the capacity to be a doer and builder in the material world. However, she may have some negative associations with such mundane achievements, because it is possible that she experienced her father using financial power to control the family. Or she may have felt that her relationship with him was spoiled or made difficult by his immersion in mundane responsibilities. Because she shares his worldly attributes, she may as an adult try to use the material world to defend herself against emotional hurt, becoming the "workaholic" or controlling one because she herself fears being controlled. Catherine has tenacity, shrewdness and a great need for self-sufficiency, and it would be appropriate for her to express these gifts through a working life which allows her financial rewards and recognition. But she needs to balance this with her needs as a woman. Her childhood experiences may have taught her that whoever has the money has the power, and she may inadvertently either cast you in the role of an imprisoning father-figure who holds the purse-strings, or cast herself in the role of the earth-mother and provider for a dependent and incompetent partner. Neither is appropriate or true to the reality. Your partner will only be happy living both her instinctual needs and her strong, authoritative side in some kind of balance.

Decency and Dogma

Authority may also be expressed through ideas. There is an element in your partner's inner image of manhood which is deeply concerned with moral and ethical authority - in other words, inarguable truths and the nature of absolute right and wrong. This results in her being a reflective person with a profound need to find and formulate those truths which can provide a basis by which she makes her decisions in life. However, it can also sometimes make her moralistic, opinionated and inflexible in her thinking.

Absolute convictions can all too easily slide into the mire of dogmatism and intolerance. It is possible that Catherine experienced this darker example of mental power and authority through her father in childhood. Perhaps there were moral or political values which he held too firmly, at the expense of other equally important perspectives. Or there may have been unconscious and unspoken expectations that your partner achieve some kind of superhuman perfection which excluded her emotional and instinctual needs. Because she shares some of her father's strong propensity to seek absolute intellectual truths, this inner voice of hers may set impossible standards of behaviour which no human can achieve. If she is unconscious of it or has internalised a more negative dimension of it, your partner may devalue herself as a woman and as an individual in the name of rigid principles which also make her intolerant of you and unable to allow you to be human as well. Your partner has a strong need to think for herself and formulate her own opinions about life, independent of you. But she may need to work on developing her sense of humour, for she can also be judgmental and intolerant at times, most of all toward herself.

The strong mental bias of your partner's inner image of masculinity also offers her many intellectual gifts, and the world of the mind is open for her exploration and development. Probably there were important issues around education and intellectual competence which arose during her childhood, and one or both parents may have had high expectations of her capabilities, having been frustrated in this direction themselves. Because knowledge and learning matter to Catherine, she needs to be able to face whatever painful issues might surround her intellectual development - particularly if she was made to feel intellectually inadequate or incompetent as a child, or had problems in communication or learning. These gifts belong to her and deserve to be lived. If she projects them onto you, she may overidealise your intellectual abilities, with a great deal of envy and undermining of her own self-value as a result. Your partner may have felt that her father expected a brilliant child, and she probably believes she has fallen short of the mark. But you are not the demanding parent of her childhood, nor would it be appropriate for these issues to interfere with your relationship when they are in fact your partner's to solve.

Because of the great strength and authority which your partner's inner image of manhood contributes to her character, it is particularly important that she develops an individual relationship to this aspect of her inner self, regardless of prevailing collective definitions of a woman's "role". The archetypal helpless female is probably not her style at all. But the opposite is not likely to be either. Militant ideologies have never solved individual psychological dilemmas, and they will not solve your partner's. The image Catherine carries within her is masculine in the sense that it reflects the assertive and directive side of her nature. But this inner image must live through her as a woman, and she needs to develop her own very unique relationship to it, just as she would wish to develop individual relationships with the men in her outer life. There is no single collective formula - your partner must find her own. If she represses this great potency within her because of her experience of the darker side of it in childhood, she may inadvertently carry great anger toward and fear of another person's authority. This of course could interfere with all her relationships with both men and women, including you, in extremely destructive ways. But blaming her father, you, society, or men in general will not help her, because she herself contains precisely the same need for authority and power, and may be expressing it in highly manipulative and unconscious ways. If Catherine can find creative and positive outlets for this powerful figure within her, and can separate it from whatever mistakes her father may have made, she will be able to give expression to it in ways which give her confidence, security, solidity and power over her own life.

CHAPTER V

CONCLUSION

APPENDIX

The Perspective of the Relationship Horoscope

In developing the Relationship Horoscope, Liz Greene began with her professional experience of clients wishing to gain astrological insight into their personal relationships. These clients most often have been in a relationship for a period of time, perhaps one or two years if not more, and the romantic and blissful beginnings have moved into a deeper and more realistic interchange. The darker aspects of both personalities have by this time been revealed, and problems and conflicts have come to the surface - usually resulting in a desire to understand more about the dynamics at work.
Both partners may not express the same interest in an astrological analysis of their relationship. One may even be quite skeptical of astrology. But very clearly, one partner is interested - and in this case it is you. You might come alone for an astrological consultation to discuss your relationship with Catherine. The Relationship Horoscope is written with this scenario in mind: It addresses you as the one who has requested the analysis, and it refers to Catherine as a third party, as "your partner". Thus the Relationship Horoscope does not speak to both partners, but to only one. The contents, however, refer to both partners in a symmetrical fashion.

If you want to share your Relationship Horoscope with Catherine, you might suggest that she bears this in mind while reading, rethinking the text accordingly. However, if this seems inappropriate for you and your partner, you are free to order a second copy with the text reversed so that it addresses Catherine, referring to you in turn as "your partner".
To order a reverse Relationship Horoscope with the text addressed to Catherine, please write an e-mail to order@astro.com and note the order code TPRE as well as the complete number of your present Relationship Horoscope. You will find this number at the bottom of the title window and at the bottom left of each page.
This second report is available at a dramatically reduced price (this may depend on the country from which you order).

Astrological Technique

To create the Relationship Horoscope, three astrological charts are examined - the natal chart of both partners and the composite chart calculated according to the midpoint method. For the compilation of the interpretation text, the following main astrological factors are taken into account: cross- aspects between the two natal charts, dominant themes in the composite chart, aspects between the composite chart and the two natal charts, and certain themes in the two natal charts which are triggered by either the partner's chart or the composite chart.

Further Reading

The Relationship Horoscope touches upon many elements in both natal charts, but particularly focusses on those relevant to relationship patterns and themes. Having read the present horoscope, you or your partner may be interested in a broader analysis of your own personality beyond the relationship perspective. In this case we would like to recommend the
PSYCHOLOGICAL HOROSCOPE
by Liz Greene (also available from us).

Recommended astrological reading referring to relationship themes:

"Astrology for Lovers" by Liz Greene: An amusing but profound view of the zodiacal signs regarding their characteristic behaviour in relationships.

"Relating" by Liz Greene: An insightful approach to relationships which synthesises astrology and depth psychology.