The Two Wounds of Chiron

by Sol Jonassen

I am sitting here, looking my own Chiron return straight in the eyes, and having studied this centaur in depth since 2005, I must say that I am glad that I did just that. I like to think that I came prepared to this threshold-initiation between life and death, the 50th year of living.

To this moment in time where the hormonal world changes so fast it almost feels like some sort of a reversed puberty, the liberation from the instinctual realm is creating a sense of freedom from something subtle that previously held a firm grip on the psyche. While this freedom feels good, there is also the slight sadness of saying goodbye to something.

Chiron opens up the most vulnerable spot there is. It is here that we have felt in the body the many thrusts of life’s unending drama and hurts. And when the return point is reached, the sum of all of these is understood at a much deeper level. That which once was can no longer be. Things are changing, but because Chiron is a demi-god, an eternal spirit, this is also the initiation into a realm beyond time. The Chiron return is, depending on the work that we have done on ourselves, a shamanic initiation into understanding spirit, the part of us that is untainted, healthy, and eternal. It is still an odd contrast to be stuck in between the worlds. One that is always dying and one that is never dying.

If the process of inner work is neglected, this point in time might produce a tangible depression as most of our life is behind us, not in front of us. And it becomes clear, for the first time ever perhaps, that the body has an expiration date. The signs of aging are becoming harder to deny. However, we know we must once again commit to life and we either find the deepest acceptance for that which has unfolded or end up with a slight taste of bitterness over all the lost opportunities, the many mistakes made and the intense encounters with destiny. The sum total of our efforts is making itself known at this time and Chiron elegantly brokers the tension between Saturn, our karma, and Uranus, our liberation. The return point of Chiron marks an understanding as to where we are on that journey. If Saturn’s lessons are not understood, then Chiron return could be a very stressful experience. Saturn is as usual very clear; the bill always needs to be paid.

None of us are beyond scars, and even if they are long forgotten the body remembers and will cough even louder as we move further on through linear time. Yet, this small centaur carries a gift beyond measure and shows us that it is through our most vulnerable and perceived weaknesses that we develop a trust in our unique and individualized voice. It is tempting to deem imbalance, illness, or misfortune impossible to heal, however, it is through an acceptance of our current limitations that we evolve into humans who do not have to be, neither can be, heroes during day and heroes during night. What we need on an authentic level is expressed. Seen from nature’s perspective this is victory. This is healing.

There is a lot of talk about Chiron and the wound that never healed, himself being wounded so hard that only death could release him. And then the big worry is if our wounds only find release when death arrives and the body returns to its original building bricks of cosmic light, but until then, is our only option to endure the pain?

Imagine that you are born with a Sun-Chiron square, and you hear this from an astrologer eager to tell you about the ins and outs of your chart. It might feel a tad unfortunate to have such a gloomy destiny on your shoulders. There is a certain truth in this understanding. Sometimes it takes forever to mend, and scars you got in your childhood will be visible on your body throughout life. According to genetics, trauma can be inherited and changing this could be impossible. So, it might not be resolved in this lifetime, and according to the rather tragic myth of Chiron having to live with his wound until his death, it does feel a bit gloomy.

But we must remember that the hidden meaning in mythology is in the eyes of the beholder and albeit ‘tragedy always sold a lot of tickets’. A closer look into the myth of Chiron reveals a process of pain, individuation, liberation, and rebirth that does not necessarily equate physical death, but it rather suggests a symbolic one. Chiron, being a teacher of medicine and wisdom, reveals the methods we need to use in order to work with life not only from a physical perspective, but also from a deeper emotional and spiritual soul-oriented perspective. Chiron integrates the micro-cosmos with the macro-cosmos. We get to see the bigger picture and it is here we find the gift.

The wound of Chiron runs much deeper than being a surface scratch. There are actually two wounds we are taking about and according to myth and a dash of psychotherapy one could speculate whether these wounds are indeed connected. We often see our own inner wounds materialised into life situations that again perpetuate the original wound. We tend to create what we in psychology know as “overcompensations” in order to avoid the initial pain from the original wound. Many heroes were created out of overcompensation. So, it can’t be all bad, right?

If we examine the myth of Chiron, we see that the first wound is emotional and limbic. His parents, Saturn and the nymph Philyra, conceived Chiron while in their animal form, or rather, in their instinctual expression, and as Philyra sees her offspring she is appalled by this horse-boy centaur, and she abandons him.

He never sees his father. The feeling of being so disgusting and unworthy that one is abandoned is the first wound. This one is existential. It is there on a genetic level, or as we astrologers like to call it, in our birth chart. It is beyond conscious awareness, and it just sits there as a preconceived truth. And it has a cunning way of leading to the formation of overcompensations, which is not always a bad thing.

Helen Keller, born with Chiron in Taurus conjoined Neptune, quintile Mercury and square Mars, was due to a brain fever infection at the age of 19 months, left deaf and blind. With the aid of her teacher, she developed a unique way of expressing herself.

Helen Keller
Source: Provided by the author

She described being deaf, blind, and unable to express herself an extremely disorienting experience (Chiron-Neptune).

Let’s play with this idea and think about Chiron in Aries, being the wound of not existing, of not being strong or courageous enough or of having one’s identity constantly challenged, like there is something inherently wrong with the individual. The compensation could be one of being aggressively competitive, wanting to prove one’s point all the time or pushing beyond fear through and putting oneself in dangerous situations. Then another wound could happen, one where the strength (Aries) didn’t prove strong enough. Someone overpowered the individual and there is a feeling of losing the battle, whether it was an argument or a boxing match. In other words, the feeling of “I only exist if I can prove myself” can go overboard while trying to compensate for the lack. This is the recipe for burnout and conflict, and thus the wound goes into self-replicating mode, and it happens over and over again in such a compulsive manner that it seems almost impossible to overcome the pattern. Then the story of Chiron having to live with his wound forever rings true.

Natal chart of Helen Keller, 27 June 1880, 16:00 in Tuscumbia, Alabama, USA
Source: Chart provided by the author

Let's return to the myth for a little while and examine the link between the inner and the outer wound further. So, the little Centaur Boy Chiron has been abandoned by his parents and is left to his own devices. Thankfully, Apollo, the God of the Sun and light, archery, truth and prophecy, healing and disease, music, and dance (quite the Renaissance man this God was) fosters Chiron as his pupil and child, teaching wisdom to this abandoned character and helps him rise above his “beastly” nature. In other words, he learns to transcend the automatic response mechanisms that arises from the wounded instinct, a very helpful thing to master for anyone who has experienced trauma and been stuck in the abyss of constant pain and reactive patterns. Apollo is teaching Chiron how to overcome and become, just like Helen Keller’s teacher did. She grew up in an insane asylum and knew the ways of the disoriented. It is showing us that the healer and the wounded in many ways are one.

Apollo helps Chiron discipline his nature and become the wise teacher centaur that we meet later on. However, Chiron’s story doesn’t end here. Eventually, he ends up being wounded again, this time by an arrow shot by the legend hero Herakles, dipped in a poison so strong that it could hurt even a demi-god like Chiron. I often wonder why he got wounded again. It felt meaningless, just like life’s injustice sometimes feels.

Then I find myself thinking of a situation where there is a riot, like the one that occurred when the centaur Pholus opened the bottle of wine so wild in aroma that it led to a frenzy among the other centaurs and Herakles tried to fight it off, inadvertently pulling Chiron into the process. At first glance it feels unfair. Chiron, who took his own primal wound and used it as a source to learn the healing arts, giving his students that which he himself needed, ended up in a very unfair place. But maybe Chiron compensated for the first primal wound by trying to mend the situation and be of value, be the hero, and perhaps this was the reason he got hurt?

With that said, let’s take a look at world’s famous comedian Robin Williams, born with the Sun in Cancer quincunx Chiron in Sagittarius. Chiron was also in a square aspect to Saturn.

Robin Williams
Source: Wikimedia.com, by Eva Rinaldi

This brilliant man was always spreading optimism and joy only to find himself at the depth of depression and paranoia due the illness that took away his one superpower, his incredible dynamic intelligence and warm wit. Who would Robin Williams be, to himself and to others, without such brain? He understood that he was ill, yet the illness itself became what his wife, Susan, described as a “terrorist inside my husband’s brain”. Chiron had just crossed his North Node in Pisces and chaos flooded his mind as the deterioration of his brain took hold. His progressed Sun was exactly squaring Chiron and on top of his Saturn at the time of his death.

His son. Zak. said when reflecting on his father’s struggles: "At least from my lens, what I found was someone who was having challenges performing his craft. And that was really irritating for him," said Zak. "When you're a performer, it goes beyond pride in what you're performing, it's your livelihood. “ (1)

Natal chart of Robin Williams, 21 July 1951, 13:34 in Chicago, Illinois, USA
Source: Chart provided by the author

So, what was it in Robin’s own history that culminated in this experience? According to his biography, Robin Williams “was introverted and struggled to make friends. His family was wealthy, but his parents worked a lot, and Williams often spent more time with the maid staff at his home. He was bullied and used comedy, which he picked up from his mother’s witty sense of humor, as a defense mechanism”. (2)

From a Chiron perspective this makes sense. Chiron in Sagittarius longs for meaning, for a feeling of freedom and spirit. Sagittarius is a sign of fiery excess and Williams was born with Chiron in Sagittarius in the second house of self-worth. The feeling of high that Sagittarius feels is God in their purest form. Once that is gone, depression is a fact, and Williams struggled with both depression and substance abuse, perhaps being addicted to the sense of high, to a sense of connection to that which we call God. A second house wound could be one of isolation and low self-worth, and Williams, a comic healer, gave so much to others that it might have been quite terrifying to see that once that gift was gone, there was perhaps little left as this way of living was his only way to truly connect with life. We can only speculate, no one really knows the inner sanctum of this comic genius, but Chiron is focal in his chart, making it hard not to think of the first wound creating the second. A cycle of self-deprivation and constant excess is rarely healthy for the brain.

We could thus argue that the second wound of Chiron is a result of a compensation for the first wound. To find oneself in a position of being a healer, leader, doctor, teacher, hero, or caretaker is often a result of needing to survive one’s own childhood in a sane way. In psycho-synthesis it is called the primal wound, the part of the psyche that has been abandoned, and the only way to feel that one exists is when performing a useful role or achieving importance in the eyes of others. Once alone, the great nothingness looms.

Did Chiron think that his very existence relied on him having to ‘save the day’ by trying to mend the situation between Herakles and the Centaurs? Many of us have seen this happen in our own lives. A conflict occurs and then there is one person that feels that it is up to them to stop it, but they themselves end up being hurt in the process. The instinctual force of nature was not possible to tame, not even for the Hero. It was stronger than our beloved demi-god and he had to endure constant pain until his death was bargained for, as if he had to beg for euthanasia. Through Chiron we move between being eternal into realizing that we are humans as well.

Astrologer Melanie Reinhart writes in her pioneering book “Chiron and the Healing Journey” about Chiron’s connection to the instinctual realm and the disgust for these “weaknesses” that create so much pain. Hamartia, the flaw, the Greeks called it. This is when the hero finds himself in a situation where fear, hubris, arrogance, greed, impatience, or other weaknesses take over and the willpower is highjacked by compulsion. Just when you think you got it, some instinctual reaction kicks in and the whole “oops, I did it again” thing happens. According to the Buddhists, it takes time to develop enough willpower to be able to master the instinctual levels, but that it is possible with training and with a good teacher. And it is certainly needed. At the time I write this, the world finds itself in the most ‘Chirotic’ situation, with eternal wars and conflicts that now seem more like an “oops, I did it again” scenario than anything else. The wound and the compensations for the wound are happening again and again.

Chiron, being an agent that opens the doors of perception into a more holistic understanding, is linked to what we perceive as the healing stages: the first one is denial. This is the most defensive state, where the wound is justified and protected. The second stage is negotiation/compensation. This is conditional love attempting to resolve the wound by doing the right thing. The third stage is anger. This is when the negotiations or compensations didn’t work because they were not in alignment with truth. The fourth stage is depression. This is when the resources are depleted and we feel like no matter how much we fight something, it will not go away.

Then comes the fifth stage that leads into a new birth: this is acceptance when we know that it is what it is. This is Chiron dying and being reborn as the constellation of Sagittarius.

And acceptance is not a defeat. It is a realistic orientation. The past is transcended. Chiron is finally, in a metaphorical manner, free from pain. Death is only a new beginning and death in this sense means that the old, conditioned way of living (Saturn) is left behind and a liberating and new vision (Uranus) is replacing the old narrative. The identity is released from the wound. That which was is no longer. Disease and failure are no longer part of one’s identity. As in the next example, of someone born with Chiron in Capricorn, that is constantly struggling with feeling adequate, disciplined, or successful enough, trying to heal through compensation by focusing all effort on being someone important, still never feeling quite successful enough. Then, as acceptance kicks in, success is no longer material, but a spiritual victory over conditioned ideas around success that only leads to pressure.

Natal chart of Vincent Van Gogh, 30 March 1853, 11:00 in Zundert, Netherlands
Source: Chart provided by the author

Vincent Van Gogh was born with Chiron in Capricorn, and he did everything in order to succeed, yet he only sold one painting while he was alive. It is almost ironic that he ended up being one of the most celebrated artists of his life. If only he knew. The high standards he set for himself eventually drove him to exhaustion and suicide. The wound of being a failure died with him. If only Chiron was discovered then, and if only he had met a beautiful healer teacher on his way. Maybe things would have ended differently.

Those who truly belong to themselves and have healed their own inadequacy through finding acceptance, are also ready to lead a life in peace and health.

Chiron deconditions our self-objectification and turns us into wonderfully humane humans, full of paradoxes, full of talents, full of flaws. Sometimes we enter this process through disease, sometimes through pain and failure, but as the journey is completed, the soul is more important than the personality, and there is no longer a need to prove oneself worthy. The wound of spiritual abandonment is healed, and just like Chiron, we are released.

Endnotes:

1 www.cbsnews.com/news/robin-williams-mental- health-zak-son/
2 www.biography.com/actors/robin-williams

Published in: Timelords Magazine, June 2024

Author:

Sol Jonassen is an internationally acclaimed evolutionary astrologer, teacher and lecturer, residing in beautiful Bergen, Norway, being a full-time astrologer since 1999. She teaches both at the Polaris Astrology School and as a regular teacher at the NPA School of Astrology. She has also hosted Polaris Astrology Conference and you find her regularly speaking at international conferences. In her practice she combines astrology with several other healing modalities such as energy healing, meditation therapy and bodywork. Her heart is aligned with esoteric teachings and she is offering this work at retreats and workshops around the globe.
Website: sol-with.com/

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